Why I Stopped Swiping

My friends and I recently had an open discussion about the dating scene within our generation. Below is a picture of the palm tree in front of my balcony, where I have had deep conversations already with that view in my short time living in Florida. Nothing beats blue skies, an ocean breeze, and palm tree leaves swaying in the wind to open up your thoughts.

I have friends who naturally met their significant other, which rarely happens anymore. I also have friends who met their significant other online through the dating apps. Then I have single friends along with myself who have tried each route, and are just in a state of limbo. Dating is hard, but with the on-going pandemic that took us by storm in the prime years of my twenties, meeting and connecting with people has been close to non-existent.

Online dating has been seen as the “norm” for quite a while, but I have had no luck come from it over the years. Between my friends and I, the amount of dating horror stories stemming from the dating apps is comical. It is so hard to tell if someone is being genuine on the other side of the screen, or if they are just telling you what you want to hear – which happens way more than you think, and it’s a let-down.

I made a vow to myself when the pandemic struck over 2 years ago, to delete the dating apps all together. It was freeing, and I have not looked back since. Although, I know a lot of people who have found success and love through online dating, I know in my heart that swiping left or right is not the path that will lead me to finding my future husband. The endless cycle of online dating can be exhausting. From ice breaker questions that fizzle away, to conversations that start out exciting but result in ghosting, to uncovering double-life identities in people who in-fact are in long-term relationships and you had no idea (yes – true story, which was not fun to uncover), or to those solely looking to casually hook-up, which is not how I roll… the list goes on and on.

There will always be an infinite amount of profile options to look at in the online dating scene, so continuously swiping will never allow you to focus on the connections that you have building right in front of you. I have never connected with online dating, and always wondered if I was alone in feeling that way? If you do not feel that something serves you any fulfilling purpose, then do not conform to what society is doing just because everyone else is doing it. Stay true to you!

I am not in a season where I have guys messaging me and sliding into my DM’s. I look back on my teenage years and early twenties and realize that I poured my attention into those who did not value me for all that I embody. I am much happier being single and knowing exactly what I have to offer in a relationship. Anybody who cannot reciprocate the love I have to give is not worth any of my energy. I would rather invest my time into one person who has true and genuine intentions than have an array of on-going surface-level conversations. Being 100% me will allow those who match my energy with pure intent to gravitate into my life.

Dating in the second half of my twenties, seeking an authentic connection, and closing the door completely on online dating is a hard path to navigate. I am a single pringle. Yet I have never felt more confident and at peace in this present moment knowing that my person is out there, and that I have not settled for a true reason. I have always and will always hold onto my values and morals with the intent of dating to marry instead of casually dating. I may end up marrying someone who I already know, or I may meet somebody completely new. I’m a hopeless romantic, and LOVE love. Moving to a new state and city leaves me hopeful that God redirected my life, so that He may continue letting my story unfold, exactly how it is meant to.

I hope that this message resonates with those that it is meant to find. Be open to letting love enter your life, but never let your heart settle for an ounce less than it deserves.

Remember to stay humble and kind, always!

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xo –Jess